Aaron was born on the afternoon of 9^th January at Waitakere Hospital in West Auckland.  Aaron was our second born (proud parents being Sue and Murray) and we already had a bubbly 2 year old daughter Karina who was thrilled to have a new brother.  Murray and myself were just thankful he was healthy.

Aaron had the usual childhood illnesses, and usual knocks and falls for a boy, even a few scars to show off.   His first five and a half years were spent in Auckland.  Aaron thoroughly enjoyed mixing with other children, and enjoyed most of his pre-school time playing outside, his favourite place was in the sand pit.  As a toddler he was very happy, loved hugs (which he never outgrew), was friendly and confident.  In 1994 we moved to the Far North.  Aaron always loved the beach and by the end of most summers he would be so brown!!  He loved catching waves with the boggy board and snorkelling.  He joined Cubs and later Scouts with his sister and dad who was a leader, this encouraged him to grow in confidence and enjoy the outdoors. Other things he enjoyed were reading, magic cards (a complicated card game with endless rules), computer games and movies (especially science fiction and horror).  He also had a good sense of humour, always loved a good joke.  He was tolerant, kind and caring, a sensitive and thoughtful young person.

In June 2001 when Aaron was 12 he complained of headaches, saying he had had a few lately but this particular headache wouldn’t go away.  I took him to see our family doctor who said it was a build up of fluid in his nasal/ear passages and his glands were slightly inflamed, gave him antibiotics. Two days later I noticed Aaron was a bit wobbly on his feet and he still had the headache.  The next day he felt dizzy, had double vision, the right side of his face felt numb, and later he vomited and we noticed his speech was slurred.  He stopped taking the antibiotics straight away and we went back to the doctor.  He still insisted it was fluid build up etc, keep taking the antibiotics, come back if you feel the need.

I wasn’t happy or satisfied with the diagnosis and decided to get a second opinion.  This doctor really gave Aaron a thorough examination, he made a phone call to a paediatrician and arranged for us to go Whangarei Hospital the next day.  At the time, Murray was in the middle of the Pacific on a yacht and on his way to Vanuatu so it was just the three of us, mum, Karina and Aaron.  We arrived at the hospital and the doctor examinations and questions started (there would be many in the next few days) and Aaron had a CT scan. The doctors informed us Aaron’s gag reflex wasn’t normal, there was a slight droop (noticeable when he smiled) and numbness on the right side of his face and he had less power to the limbs on his left side.  The scan showed something on the brain, but they couldn’t, or wouldn’t say anymore and the specialists at Starship would do an MRI.  I knew then this was serious but tried to keep positive and hopeful.  I’ll always remember Aaron’s words after they told us … “I don’t won’t to die”.

We arrived at Starship that evening.  After extensive examinations they put Aaron on dexamethasone to help reduce swelling.  He had to undergo a MRI scan that required him to lie still for an hour.    It was amazing the change within a couple of days after being on the dex.  All the symptoms improved rapidly, headaches, dizziness, and speech.  Only problem was it gave him a constant and huge appetite for a couple of weeks.

Murray arrived within the next day after making a hurried flight back from Vanuatu, and we heard the worst news any parent could hear, our son had an inoperable brain tumour, a pontine brainstem glioma. We were told there are 4-5 children a year in New Zealand diagnosed with this tumour.  They said surgery was not possible because of where the tumour was situated and offered radiotherapy that would slow the growth, there was nothing else they could do for him, and Aaron could have anything from 4 months to 2 years to live.  We were all in shock, totally numb, our world was turned upside down, literally.  I kept asking myself, why Aaron, what has he done to deserve this.  We didn’t realise it fully then, but our lives had changed forever.

The next week we moved into Ronald McDonald House and started the process of preparing for radiotherapy which consisted of visiting an oncologist and getting a mask made up so the radiotherapy could be aimed directly at the tumour.  The next week he started his treatment and this continued for 6 weeks, same time everyday, Monday to Friday, we would walk up to Oncology for his 18 seconds of treatment.   After two weeks, we decided it was best if Murray and Karina went back home, to go back to work and school.  Life has to go on and we had to pay our bills somehow.  Most weekends they would come down and visit and once Aaron and I flew home for the weekend.  The side effects from the radiotherapy were difficult, he lost some hair and became very tired.  The side effects of the dex were becoming very apparent also and after some weeks on this drug he gained weight and tiny red spots appeared on his face (which are all very devastating for a 12 year old).

From the time Aaron was diagnosed we were investigating and trying alternative treatments, Aaron went along with most of these but in the months to come he eventually drew the line when it came to diet!  Murray and I could not accept that nothing else medically could be done for Aaron and so continued looking overseas for possible treatments, in this day and age there must be something out there.  This led us to Australia, America, Brazil and Germany.

On the 22^nd August 2001 after 6 weeks of radiotherapy and being away from home for 8 weeks, we arrived back, it was so fantastic to be home again.  We regularly visited a paediatrician in Kaitaia to monitor Aaron’s medication, he was in contact with a palliative care nurse and oncologists at Starship and Auckland Hospital.  Aaron was still very tired so he wasn’t able to go back to school, yet he was determined to stay fit and healthy as much as he could.   Some days he would go for a bike ride and workout in the gym.  One day he went shooting at a friend’s farm and went swimming with dad (they were the only brave ones as it was September and the water was freezing).  A favourite pastime during his days at home was playing Monopoly, he loved to beat everyone, even Grandad who was an accountant and visiting us at the time!  He also had times when he couldn’t do much other than sit in front of the TV watching his favourite movies or programs.  Some of his favourite pastimes were becoming increasingly difficult for him to do, he had double vision sometimes and he didn’t have the same control of his fine motor skills.  He loved playing with Warhammer, which involved tiny models being painstakingly joined and painted.  He didn’t attempt this any more.

One of Aaron’s wishes was to see the snow so through a trust set up for children like Aaron we were able to spend a week in Queenstown in September, all four of us!!  We stayed at the Sunshine Lodge and enjoyed jet boating, paragliding, visiting the Bluff, skiing/snowboarding and of course having snow fights and making snowmen.  We ate out lots, and had some great family times.  During the week we were away Aaron finished his dex but unfortunately his headaches started coming back.  He put on a brave face and enjoyed the holiday as much as he could. 

After returning from our holiday in Queenstown we returned to Auckland for consultations with oncologists and it was decided Aaron should go back on dex and have another MRI.  Thank goodness the MRI wasn’t as long as the first.  I still can’t believe how brave Aaron was through all of this, he didn’t complain much.  The news was devastating, the tumour had grown.  No further radiotherapy could be done as the brain can only take so much and he’d had his maximum dose, they couldn’t offer any other treatment, other than dex.  We all took the news very badly, Karina had to walk out part way through the consultation and Aaron went very quiet.  The week that followed I heard him crying some nights and I went to his side. We had been attending our local church and found great comfort and support there, Aaron especially, he started to develop a faith in God.  He had matured in many ways.

In October Aaron made the decision to return to school.  He was determined to get back to his usual activities and to see his friends, to make the most of what time he had left.  He was very nervous on the first day back, wondering what kids would say or ask him.  His appearance had changed dramatically since being on the dex.  His year 7/8 class were then practising for the cross-country and Aaron insisted on joining in.  He didn’t want to feel any different from his friends and be given any special treatment so he would run the length of the beach with his classmates.  At home he was still working out but he had times when all he wanted to do was sleep, rest or meditate.  These times became more frequent.

We had a friend in the medical profession who lived in Germany and he tracked down a neurosurgeon who said it was possible to operate with very good chances of removing the tumour and good chances of recovering from the operation.   We decided to take the risk and go for it.  Aaron was now finding it difficult to walk, his left foot dragged and he would often trip.  His still had double vision and he often felt dizzy.   We made the necessary arrangements to fly to Germany and left in early November.  The surgeon removed 70% of the tumour with little damage.  In early December we returned determined to have a normal Christmas, as close as possible anyway.  By this time Aaron was unable to walk, numbness returned to the right side of his face, swallowing was difficult, the use of his left hand was limited and worst of all, he lost his ability to speak. 

Over the next two months we had lots of visitors especially from family who all lived a long distance away, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins came for miles to see him and support us any way possible.

We had the use of a swimming pool that had an easy entry. Three or four times a week we would take the 10 minute trip to cool off and do some physiotherapy with Aaron.  He loved the freedom of the water but eventually this trip became too tiring for him.  Aaron’s symptoms grew worse, eating a meal sometimes took hours, his blood pressure was high, just sitting and holding his head up became difficult and tiring for him.  He watched TV, he read his favourite computer magazines and people read to him.  He did see the Lord of the Rings at our local cinema and we started to read “The Hobbit” to him.  He was given The Lord of the Rings book for his 13^th birthday but he insisted we read The Hobbit first.

In January the Scout Association awarded Aaron the Cornwell Scout Badge, an award given to Scouts who have shown extraordinary perseverance and courage through suffering or illness.  This award is rarely given in New Zealand.  It had been arranged for Aaron to officially receive this award on scout night but sadly this was not to be.

On Monday the 11^th February 2002 Aaron woke us early, we knew his time had come, we could see it in his eyes.  He died at 7.20 that morning, God came down and took his hand, and He took Aaron to Heaven, relieving him of all his suffering. Aaron stayed with us at home until his farewell, we often sat in his room talking, praying and crying, sharing memories and happy times.

The day we celebrated his life the weather was spectacular, the church overlooks a huge bay and the sun shone brilliantly, the water was sparkling blue and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  Both the weather and seeing so many family, friends, school students and staff, Scouts and people from the community, elevated our spirits.